I’m ashamed. I feel like I am going to be sick for months. You ever do something so awful you have trouble forming the words to describe your indiscretion? Every thing reminds you of what you did and the repulsive person you are? I’m there my friends and I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t even know if I can hit “publish” after I’m done writing this…….its that bad. Okay here it goes, I have planned, booked the hotel and everything, to be out of town for September 17th. I know I’m going to have to spell it out for some of you which just makes me taste bile but fine so be it. September 17th is a Saturday. That not good enough? September 17th, is Saturday in which……. myUtesplayandnotonlydotheyplaytheyplaybyu. Did you catch that? Yes I am going to be out of town during that game. Now we Utes have moved on, we are in the Pac now and who cares about playing that silly team down south right? In all reality though that game is always intense. Its an exciting game no matter who wins. A lot of years it has came down to the last second. It might mean anything anymore, no conference title on the line or anything like that but the game its self now that is what college football is all about. So why in anyone’s all mighty would I skip the game, by choice for that matter?

I blame the off season. Okay I know that isn’t an answer but let me explain. I have a problem with my addiction as you might have picked up in this blog entry, but its so serious I have to go nearly cold turkey during the off season when it comes to football. I still keep up with whats going on with off season workouts, the University of Utah in general and anything to do with the team. However I can not watch any football. None. No highlight videos, no reruns of our best games, nothing.I try not to even think about the actual games at all.  Some of my friends are the opposite, that is how they get through the summer. In the summer of 2009 I had a friend who watched the Sugar Bowl more than 100 times. I cant do it, its like giving a recovering drug addict just one hit. Im gone. Because there is no football on every day, or even every Saturday I would go insane. So I just stay away completly and if I do, I can function like any human being. I can go camping without checking the scores every 10 seconds, (try taking me camping Labor day weekend) I can enjoy things I cant normally cause Im allways looking for my next score…..did you catch the pun?  😉  So obviously last month when I found out that I could participate in something that was just as much a part of me as Utah football I wasn’t really thinking about the upcoming season.

It is called the Conquer Chiari Walk Across America, walk I guess. It is just like the thousands and thousands of MS walks that take place all over the nation every year. It is a fundraising event to raise money for research. From the flyer:

Chiari Malformation is a serious neurological disorder affecting 300,000 people in the US. The Conquer Chiari Walk Across America is a series of local awareness and fundraising walks held across the country on the same day. Join us on this special day and help the thousands of families struggling with this terrible disease. All proceeds will be used to fund Chiari research.

Unfortunately they are not holding one in SLC this year. Don’t ask me why no one in Utah knows anything about Chiari, I’m a little miffed about it these days. The closest one to me is in Englewood, Colorado. It is a pretty quick drive, Mapquest says 8 hours so its probably closer to 6. So I registered. Of course I can’t walk even a portion of the 3k of the walk so Mark is coming with me so he can once again push my wheelchair.  He is a healthy youngish man he can walk a 3k with one leg. Im sure I wont be the only Chiarian in a wheelchair so I wont feel so dumb.

Here comes the part where I have to ask y’all for money. Sorry but I gotta do it. This is a fundraiser and I’m participating in it and the deal is I am supposed to get people to sponsor me. My friends and family that say they support me. The bottom line is Chiari sucks big time, and there isn’t any awareness, fundraising or anything other than this going on. Do you know how many MS rides, walks there are a year? March of Dimes for premature births (that was my last walk for charity)? Cancer walks? Diabetes even? All of these things suck just as bad or worse but why should what I have not get funding or awareness? When was the last time you donated to charity? What charity was it? Was it some illness or disease someone you know could get? Well I have one, my prognosis right now, is its not going to kill me but it sure isn’t fun to live with at all, and it gets worse every day. I would love just once to be able to go to a doctor and he knows immediately what Chiari Malformation is. I want hope that maybe I will be able to walk again, that instead of degenerating, I might start getting some of my abilities back. People with those other condition’s that I mentioned have that hope. MS and cancer patients have hope of remission. They wouldn’t have that if not for all the funding and research being done today. Don’t stop supporting them but please support me. My goal is only $75.00 because I really don’t know how much I can raise before Sept. 17th so please donate anything you can, as small as amount as you can really anything helps. Sponsor Me. I really appreciate it, because if I don’t reach my goal I’m going to feel even worse about missing the game. 😉 Which brings up a really good question, does anyone know how I can get the audio stream of the game while driving home from Colorado?